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Reis studies social interactions and the factors that influence the quantity and closeness of our relationships. He coauthored a review article that analyzed how psychology can explain some of the online dating dynamics. You may have read a short profile or you may have had fairly extensive conversations via text or. Her research currently focuses on online dating, including a study that found that age was the only reliable predictor of what made online daters more likely to actually meet up.
Where online dating differs from methods that go farther back are the layers of anonymity involved. If you meet someone via a friend or family member, just having that third-party connection is a way of helping validate certain characteristics about someone physical appearance, values, personality traits, and so on. Do you make one another laugh? Study after psychological study support that those types of principles are important in relationshipsand are predictors of relationship success, he notes.
Online dating is a way to open doors to meet and date people, Reis says. And one thing the apps and sites have going for them is that ability to simply help you meet more people. Sameer Chaudhry, MD, an internist at the University of North Texas in Dallas, coauthored a BMJ Evidence-Based Medicine paper for which he and his coauthor considered nearly 4, studies across psychology, sociology, neurocognitive science, and other disciplines to come up with a series of guidelines for how to set up a profile, how to select matches, and how to approach online interactions.
Setting up a dating profile a certain way is by no means a guarantee for meeting the love of your life. Be selective. Some apps have a reputation for being hookup apps; others are deed to connect users of the same religion or some other shared hobby or attribute.
Research shows that people tend to fall for people similar to themselves when it comes to things like relationship history, desire for children, pet preferences, and religion. Being honest about what you want and who you are makes it more likely that the people you end up talking to and meeting are people things might work out with, Hallam says.
Photos should accurately depict your physical appearance — but they should be photos you generally like, Hallam says. Specific attributes that generally increase attractiveness and likeability, according to his research, were: a genuine smile one that makes your eyes start to crinkle up and a slight head tilt. People swipe through profiles quickly. State things that are really important to you and be done with it.
People tend to be interested in interesting people.
Remember that personal growth is one of those hallmarks that tends to make long-term relationships work. He suggests not drawing out the pre-face-to-face meeting for too long.
Chaudhry says his research suggests keeping online, pre-meeting exchanges to two weeks or shorter. And actually make an effort to get to know someone. Kolmes suggests checking in with yourself regularly. Don't miss: Got swiping fatigue?
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