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Olivia Rogers not her real name was a successful doctor, separated from her husband and the mother of four teenagers. From the moment Jack and Olivia met, they couldn't stop talking. Morning turned to evening. She didn't buy his horse, but he was smitten. It didn't matter to me because she was young of mind and spirit. In fact, she was 55 and quite convinced that, at 35, he was far too young for her.
Twenty years later, they're still together. They're in a committed relationship and very much in love. She's 75 and a retired pediatrician in good health; he's 55 and continues to work. Over a lunch of Chinese food, Nussbaum positively beams as he describes the merits of being involved with an older woman and, in particular, Olivia.
Twice divorced, Nussbaum says he had developed a habit of trying to tell women who were his age or younger how to live their lives. Who was I to tell her anything? Falling in love with a woman 10, 15, 20 years older, or more can be exhilarating.
These so-called age-gap relationships with the woman as the senior partner are more accepted now than in times, some observers say.
Even so, making the relationship last involves tackling some thorny -- and sensitive -- issues. Among the common trouble spots, experts say, are differences over whether to have children, anxiety over body image and sexuality, and coping with reactions from peers and family members. The younger person may want to rock and roll all night and hang out with younger people the older person finds boring.
The degree of discord depends on how each partner feels about the differences: Are they fascinating or frustrating? The most romantic question, according to Sherven, is "Can you teach me who you are? Sherven recalls a man who was 15 years younger than his wife and going through a period of work-related anxiety. She could offer a different perspective by virtue of her seniority. If an older woman offers wisdom and experience, a younger man offers new ideas, particularly about gender roles, says Diane Smith, 44, a registered nurse in Urbana, Ill.
Divorced with three daughters who are 20, 13, and 10 years old, Smith wasn't interested in having more children, and that was fine with her new husband, so they avoided that potential conflict. But it took her a while to believe he would choose her year-old body over that of a younger woman.
Most men who want an older woman see those cute girls as young and dumb. They thrive on the sophistication, experience, and knowledge an older woman brings to the relationship. Women's sexual energy is said to peak at age 40, and Smith has found this makes a 40ish woman like themselves a perfect sexual match for a younger man.
Unlike younger women who are raising children and are often too tired for sex, older women, at least those without young children, are often ready to devote themselves to a vibrant sex life, she says. And sexual compatibility can endure, says Jack Nussbaum, even as the woman moves toward old age. While an older man may look for a younger woman to make them feel virile and powerful, an older woman doesn't consider a younger man a status symbol, according to Smith, who hosts an online chat group about age-gap relationships.
Far from showing off a young mate -- the way an older man might do -- Olivia Rogers feels so self-conscious about being older than Nussbaum that she refuses to socialize with his friends. When he published a novel, she threw him a party at her house and happily invited her friends and her four children. But when he hosted a publication party in San Francisco for his friends, she chose not to attend. Chief among the partitions is that they keep separate residences. There's no better reason to savor the experience, he says. And what is his reaction to that constant reminder by his long-term partner?
From the WebMD Archives. Sexual Peaks and Perks Women's sexual energy is said to peak at age 40, and Smith has found this makes a 40ish woman like themselves a perfect sexual match for a younger man. Could I have CAD? Missing Teeth?Hot senior women ready to fuck
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