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You need to think about that good and hard, why you would stay with someone that without a commitment, and then promptly dump them when they become a self-fulfilling prophecy and cheated on you. Then you had several short-term relationships, and I suspect you were using the excuse that you were "hurt" in a relationship to sabotage those relationships, too.

And here you are again, doing your best to sabotage THIS relationship. You have put him in an intolerable position he can't have female friends without you going psycho. So he has to create the very situation that makes you crazy in order to spend time with his friends. Unless you've got pictures of him and this girl screwing naked on the grass in the park, then you could easily be overreacting. Big time. Tell your boyfriend that you saw the blog, and that, while you feel a little threatened, you're trying very hard not to make this an issue, and would like him to talk to you about why he felt the need to hide it.

If you can do this in a calm, rational voice, with a smile, you'll probably start to make some progress. But do look into the possibility of therapy for your issues. It's completely unfair to expect any to cure your own personal psychosis. Want to Have a Secret Affair.

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From what you wrote, what you appear to want is the freedom to do what you like without really working for it or caring about the people your decisions affect. Your present approach seem romantic but it isn't realistic nor does it allow you to build self-respect either. I suggest you step back from dating anyone for awhile and get some counseling to determine who you are, what you really want, and develop a plan to get there without using someone to do it.

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Here are my ideas so far: ask all my queer parent friends in town yes, the one other lesbian mom I know for referrals or check out the Center for possible GLBT-friendly sitters. I need someone who has a car. Any ideas?

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